Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Before posing with the drawing I played a little like a little friggin' brain damaged kid and I think I could show you the rest of it in case you're interested, I mean, I know you aren't, but still, you could find some you'll like :XD: I'd love if you would tell me in comments which one you liked the most tho Sonic Emoticon #5 And also again, sorry for the messy hair, I tried blend in with the style :XD:
Ask the mirror by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Ask the mirror"

Shhhh, be quiet when I slit your throat by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Shhh, be quiet when I slit your throat"
Pick one card by ZalyHeartlessTigress
"Pick one card"
The Jolly Joker tehehee by ZalyHeartlessTigress
"The Jolly Joker's calling card"
Hahaha, you're so funny, I'LL KILL YOU THE LEAST by ZalyHeartlessTigress
"Hahaha, you're so funny, I'LL KILL YOU THE LAST"
Mista'h J loves you....maybe by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Mista'h J loves you....maybe"
Kiss me rubber Batsey by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Kiss from the rubber Batsey"
I gotta lick the bat by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Do I love Bats? Yes I do. He's for me. Not for you."
Jokeys loves to bite his Bat baby by ZalyHeartlessTigress 

"Joker loves to bite his Bat baby" Lenny Eyebrow Wiggle (Sorry for my teeth there, I don't know how it happened that they came out looking so crooked and on this pic, fucking shading, can't get it right, making my teeth look so unattractive mrhumgfnv Max Goof - Icon)
Have a nice death by ZalyHeartlessTigress
"Have a nice death"
Diz meine Batisu by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Diz meine Batisu"
How Could This Happen To Me by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
Pretty Little Psycho by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Pretty Little Psycho"
Giving you the finger by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"A subtle way to tell you to fuck off"
Gotta look fabulous guuuurl by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Gotta look faaaaabulous guuuuurl"
Joker is oficially broken now by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Joker is oficially broken now"
Why the fuck do I keep bitting things for fuck's s by ZalyHeartlessTigress 

"Seriously tho, who do I keep biting things for fuck's sake"
Shit, forgot to take my meds again... by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Shit, forgot to take my meds again..."
Someone poke Joker with a stick....I think he's de by ZalyHeartlessTigress 

"Someone poke Joker with a stick...I think he's dead..."
Sad Joker with a tiger plushie on a shelf by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Sad Joker with a tiger plushie on a shelf" :XD:
Uncle J is taking selfieeeees bitcheees by ZalyHeartlessTigress 
"Unca J is done taking selfies bitcheeeeees"

By the way, the funniest thing about all this is that I had to cook some pancakes afterwards and I didn't wash my make-up off, so my father saw me and made fun of me like "Behold of the Joker that is sitting next to stove and texting on his mobile." and stuff like that :XD: Pap, you don't understand! Harley has a headache so I must cook of my own!" :stare3d: Stare 3D 50x50 derp 
Wow, such a strange feeling when my annonymity is fucked up now :XD: But yeah, eh, whatever right, I can always delete my account if having any problems with that, no big deal :lol: I feel so jolly, no pun intended Dignity Laugh 

Also also! This is tiny something I found long time ago, but have no other chance of showing you, I thought it could make you smile a little :giggle:
Joker and his boners by ZalyHeartlessTigress
  • Listening to: Dawn by Poets of the fall
  • Eating: Chicken with mashed potatoes
Here's the story: A little while ago....two months ago I drew a big (A3) Batman fanart, so I can't scanner it, so the quality of the photo sucks ass, but my father loves his little piggy that will make him money one day, wanted to make me happy a bit, so he bought a frame, put my drawing into it and now we treat it as a real painting...Well, that was pointless :XD: Sorry, I like to talk a lot :| (Blank Stare) :| (Blank Stare) :| (Blank Stare) :| (Blank Stare)  Anyways, he took some photos for FB and some of them were with my face on it, so I'm asking...... Should I do my face reveal here? Britney Spears Weird I never did it for safety purposes BUT ON THE OTHER HAND my face on those photos has shitload of makeup on because I dressed up as Joker for shits and giggles, so my "real" face is kinda disguised there...... Look, the question is if you would like to see my ugly ass face or not, please, tell me Smile Miguel 
  • Listening to: Grenade by Bruno Mars
  • Watching: Reviews
  • Eating: Pancakes I just made
Ever heard about the "Blue Whale"? What the tits is that illegal shit?! How is it not banned?!
  • Listening to: My teacher
  • Reading: School book
  • Watching: Presentations

Okais, before you will cringe me out of this site, I’d like to tell you my actual opinion AND WOULD TOTALLY LOVE to read your opinion on my opinion on Gotham High…..opinion opinion opinion…..

For those who aren’t familiar with DC, this was a cancelled kid’s show with that 90’s syndrome. It’s literally the stupidest thing, they ate some of the popular Batman characters, drank some ink and shitted out their Saved by the Bell high school version. Yah. Yah. That is exactly what happened. Sorry to ruin your childhood. NOW, I know you totally don’t give a fuck, BUT I  houstly think this has a potentional. I know I said I’d like to watch it just to laugh at it, BUT the more I think about it…. :paranoid: 

Many people were already turned off by their designs. I wasn’t so much, cuz‘ if something like that freaky gothic animated Batman show could turn out successful even tho thein designs were the most LSD thing ever, I already know not to judge characters by their cover. :XD: I dunno why, I kinda adore how they managed to make he characters into teen groups, there’s something witty about it. :lol: The only thing I kinda mind is Barbara Gordon. I mean, yeah, cartoon logic, who cares if she’s younger, the thing is that you could FIX THAT problem only with CHANGING her name to Julie Madison. Nerdy, I know, but you can’t say I‘m not right. King Julien DEATH STARE icon 

But yeah, it was so friggin‘ obvious of a shameful cash-grab for young girls, kinda like Equestria Girls, with nothing but generic high school plots and high school stereotypes and fucking boooooring 1D clones of the 3D characters they once were, uhm, with no action fight scenes because it’s for girlieees, duuuuuh. Llama Emoji 43 (Yawn) [V2] But in the right hands, it wouldn’t have to be! Yes, superhero show without fight scenes, I know… But it’s for girls for a purpose, you know why do we watch superhero movies except for looking at the hot heroes? For the drama. For the relationships between characters. The development. And I think that’s exactly what this show could provide, to show more of the feelings the characters have! AND what I think would be the best part is the symbolism. This show could be part of dorky high school plots and symbolism. Just imagine all the „real kid“ backstories they could cleverly give to the characters! Like from the top of my head, I’m a young unprofessional shit and I can think of this for an example:

You have Harvey Dent: A guy who used to be an impetuous kid, one day rushed his decision and harmed himself afterwards, a ball or stick or something hitting his head. Got a half of his brain fucked up, ya know, nerves and such. One half of his entire body moving slower and a half of face not reacting that much or showing emotions. From that day he’s also very indecisive out of trauma, asking friends or throwing a coin.

You got Harleen Quinzel: Basically a new kid, a former student star, good and smart girl. Until she fell for the wrong new school group, loving Joker’s charm. Quickly transforming into a rebelious brat, releasing the wildness inside. Her parents trying to talk with school staff, they try their best, but it’s no use. Wanting even her to change schools, but she refuses to move away from her beloved.

You got Victor Fries: An average introvert with bad body temperature, having his girlfriend torn away from him. Having a deadly disease, curing in hospital for x years. They are still in love, in fact more than ever, occasionally texting, supporting one another. Everyday he’s struggling with fear of losing her, making him a very coooooooold guy, avoiding other students, especially women.

You have Joker: A misterious guy, tricky prankster with a retarded laugh. Deep inside mentally marked from scars he got from his papi that he’s now hiding under his make-up, okay, wrong demographic, got a carried away a bit, Ledger is not suitable for kid’s show.

But you get what I mean!!!! I hope... And to make the symbolics further, the whole show would be from Bruce Wayne’s perspective, being the new kid in the school, slowly learning about other characters as we would as the audience. We are getting to the beggining here, I said I would drop off the superhero/supervillain stuff, BUT what about giving him a character trait of “an artist”, sketching his own character, a bat hero, based of himself of course. Hero’s allies or villains would be based of kids around him, depending of his relationships. These sketches would be of course the Batman universe we all know and love, he would draw these little comics based of his experiences, ironic I’d say. Having a story B based of story A, but making it seem like the story A is based of the story B. His sketches could be sometimes artsy-fartsy animated too for the action and fashion purposes, these would also help him to deal with the daily situations and problems, kinda like Doug or the book Bridge to Terabithia!!! :iconlaplz: I know it sounds kinda creepy to draw your classmates as action characters without them knowing it, but eh, kid’s show....

How could you have all the various characters in one school? Easy, have them all in grammar school, I think all the characters are smart enough to be here. :P Other Batman characters could be Bruce’s former classmates or kids from different grade. Other DC characters could be kids from different schools, their rival ones in sports and such, ya know, we all live that. Noes! 
Their alter hero/villain names would basically be their "offensive" school nicknames, because... honestly, they all sound like offensive nicknames :XD:

So what do you think? YES, it WOULD BE an unnecessary show, kinda like Batman the brave and bold. BUT that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be a bit above average! BtBaB isn’t above average. But I know what you think cuz’ I think that too. They wouldn’t do that. Because DC is a money-grabbing-whore. They wouldn’t try with this. It would be like Teen Titans Go I suppose. Again, I know you don’t give a shit. I just want to die with the feeling that before coming out of my cringe closet, I tried to talk things out. Homerhide-plz 

It could be kinda a dorky spin-off show, why are you people so serious all the time? and everyone loses their minds! (Joker Chat Icon) 
  • Listening to: Radio
  • Drinking: Hot tea

 I definitely am.
As someone who is currently studying the WW2, this helps me a lot.
Sorry not sorry.
  • Listening to: You
  • Reading: Know
  • Watching: That
  • Playing: Modern
  • Eating: Lorax
  • Drinking: Sucks?
Either my internet connection is getting a bit less de luxe or DA is spitting at my face again, but this site sometimes shows me that I can't get to this account because some kind of error, anyways, the point is that when this happens I get a bit freaked out, since I'm a skittish as fuck and everything makes me paranoid, that my account got blocked and is lost in the black holes forever :XD: Do anybody got that feeling sometimes too? Especially when you do, draw or write something "offensive" here? Llama-Emoji-12 (Left and Right) [V1] And everytime that happens you're like "Plz God, give me my account back plz, I'll do everything, I'll be good person forever from now! NOOOO sobbing - crying" After a while you realize it was just stupid internet error and you immediately write a journal bitching about it? Ehm. :XD:
Honestly, if I would ever get banned I would never make another account, since that would piss me off like hardcore :XD: That would be the last lifepoint of my patience with this site Muajajaja..How funny..Onion 
Ooooor more important question! Is DA doing this to you too? Like, I get this happens from time to time, but now it's more and more often and I don't really appreciate it, thank you very much ImINsAnEeeEEH emote 
Also, side note, do you know any non-nature DA general art group that has no fetish stuff in it for me to watch? I would really love you for that.
No you don't.
Because nothing like that exists.

  • Listening to: Some random playlist
  • Watching: FattyPillow
  • Eating: Lunch
What do you mean where I got it I don't have to tell you anything it wasn't even mine bruhjbkcdvb :stare:
So, is it just me, or does the Batman's speech about relationships at the beginning sound like an undirect answer to people like me who ship Batjokes? I mean, with all the "Batman doesn't do 'ships'" or "Batman and Joker were NEVER a thing!" Sounds a bit suspicious, doesn't it?  Výsledek obrázku pro dog meme Blink blink blink! Joker Blink Avitar
Anyways, I'm going to leave you with Joker's sad face. How can be something so adorable and yet so depressing? I mean, what could be more depressing than a sad clown? Sad dummy
Diana doesn't give a shit by ZalyHeartlessTigress
Those evil sharp teeth don't fit to such an expression. One like, one "I hate you" for Jokey Sad..Sad..Onion
Also my cat.
And by cat I mean walrus.
Hm, very interesting 
  • Listening to: Breaking Benjamin - What Lies Beneath
  • Eating: Russian ice cream
I was thinking long and hard about it and I was wondering...... Why do guys even like boobs? You know what boobs are? Just two big sacks of fat on my chest. If you like them so much, why can't you appreciate sacks of fat on my belly? Butt? Back? Eh? Bother to explain me that?
Boobs are pest tho. It hurts when you run. You can't lie down properly. You feel like the only reason why guy likes you is because of them. It hurts when you run downstairs.....It hurts when you run upstairs...... And yet, we would like to have them bigger, meaning, even a bigger pest.
And yet, still, straight men like boobs, gay men like boobs, straight women like boobs, gay women like boobs, transgender people like boobs, aminals like boobs, plants like boobs, bacteria likes boobs, aliens like boobs, non-living objects like boobs, antimatter likes boobs, whatever exists beyond time and space likes boobs.
The main question here is: But why?

Happy Bookgiving day, I mean,  Happy Valentine's day. :heart:
It's much harder to watch porn at this day than any other day.
  • Listening to: Some deep emo shit
  • Watching: Documents
  • Eating: Breakfast
And now when I caught your attention, let me get to the topic :tehe3d: Tehe 3D 50x50 derp 

As you can see, I was deadly ill again, so you may not recognize my name anymore, so let me introduce myself, hello, I'm Zaly, I like apples and I hate furries and I'm here for the contest, I still have tons of work to do and I'm tired as hell, but I still managed to find a time for you because what I wouldn't do for you guys right....eheh.......
Well, uhm. I am happily suprised that new people joined the contest when I gave the new time limit, also a bit down that some still didn't make it in time..... I mean, yes, I understand, you're most likely busy with your job and such, no matter what you are, I tell you what I am, I'm a lawyer and do you know what do I judge? Fanbases :XD: But now I'm also going to judge your art yeeee!!!big dummy Just people, please, don't get pissy if I didn't pick you for the "special spot" ALSO, the special spots will be at the end of this list, it will be more dramatic that way AND the ones which are not picked to be special are not in order anymore, like from the best to the worst, I will most likely place them as I recieved them =P So let'sa go! :la: choir 

Winter Flower - Flor de Invierno by miguelam76
Winter Flower - Flor de Invierno by :iconmiguelam76:
This is the first art that I got, here we can see a winter flower, contrasting with the colorful warm background, quite interesting if you ask me =P I love the colors, I think they are wht makes this picture great even tho it's not exactly what I asked for :P It has full background, simple concept tho, for that I give this artist 35 point + 10, each 5 points for the other two sketches that he bothered to post, be sure to check them out too! Winter Flower just Color - Flor de Invierno Color & Winter Flower b/w - Flor de Invierno b/n

(NOT) a Christmas Gift by RiverWho
(NOT) a Christmas Gift by :iconriverwho:
Next we have something more familiar :la: It's sad Zaly, which is unique, I don't think anyone ever drew a sad character of mine until she did :dummy: Even tho some parts may still seem to be sketchy, the coloring AND especially the background sure had to be a real chore, I love the shading :heart: But do you know what I adore the most about this? The moon. It's simply wonderful and I could stare days at it :love: Mainly for the amazing moon and for following the concept I decided to give her 45 points, hope she will be happy with my decision :P

Arbolito-navidad-56 by Creaciones-Jean
Arbolito-navidad-56 by :iconcreaciones-jean:
Perhaps may seem as a copycat, the abstract ornament is truly beautiful, just as the message she wrote to me to the description :heart: That really warmed up my heart the first time I saw it, it's always nice to see that somebody cares :hug: Cares enough to join your contest :D What I see in it is a golden tree with gems, who ever didn't want one? :la: Well, now I do and the artist has 35 points of mine, given out of love :giggle:

[Christmas Commision]Happy 2017, Zaly! by momo-malt-gern
[Christmas Commision]Happy 2017, Zaly! by :iconmomo-malt-gern:
A very merry Chritmas to me in a traditional way, a nice combo =P Following my instructions completely, this has everything, Christmas ornaments, snow, background, Zaly and hey, even little kangaroo at her side, when he still had brown hair :stare: The artstyle is adorable, yet too simplistic for my taste, sorry if that sounds rude, just giving you the reason why you didn't get the "special" place ^^; I still love it tho, the artist clearly tried and for that I give 40 points! Hope they will be used wisely :P

We are getting to the special places now, I'm sorry, for some reason I can't feature this one here, it's either too small or too big :( Here's the transition to the original: Commission Contest: HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!! by yasminopalcaster Commision Contest: HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES! by :iconyasminopalcaster:
Here's my judgement, ehm: It has two full bodies, shading and difficult background :O Yes, the design may be a bit bland, but what makes me to put this at the third place is that wonderful dialogue, these are so wonderfully in-character, it's almost like somethign I would draw :XD: I see the artist did a research on my characters, which I always appreciate, it has even a history behind it! :dummy: I simply love it, giving you the 40 +10, which gets her 50 points :P

christmas somewhere in frost by Takiako-Nakashi
christmas somewhere in frost by :icontakiako-nakashi:
 Now, this may to seem like a weird choice, I know :P What wins it for me is the texture on the fur, the tree and the ornaments themselves :heart: I can't work with these pro programs, so I am simply amazed by that, I just had to give it the second place! The background is gorgeous too, just look at those colors! :love: And hey, it has even a teleport into a different dimension ;P I love it, can't help myself, I am aware of the hard work this artist put into this even tho he didn't have the bestest time, for that he deserves 40 + 20, that is 60 points in a whole :clap:

Zaly in the snow by Ozeana-06
Zaly in the snow by :iconozeana-06:
This is one of the later ones, that doesn't mean it's bad tho! Vice versa! I may not seem like it, but I love traditonal art, far more than digital pieces and this one just caught my eye. The design is proper and adorable, idea is cute and well put on the paper, it has a nice way of showing us what everything can be drawn in the winter, who said it has to be "only" white? The character herself contrasts and shines out of the art, never mentioning the details on the tree! I hope you love it as much as I do and agree with the choice of 40 +30 thus 70 points! Wooho, congrats for the winnner! :iconlaplz:

Also, a honorable mention goes to :iconscale-fang: who didn't join the contest, but drew this as a gift for me and I think it deserves being seen! Be sure to check this person out, he's amazing, has a good by heart :3 Emoticon Dance with me by :iconscale-fang:
Dance With Me by Scale-Fang
And that's all my dearests :iconshinyheartplz: As I said, hope you won't get angry at me for not choosing your art and will try it the next time I will make an another contest that I SWEAR won't be as complicated as this one XD Thank You for everything Love
  • Listening to: Poison by Alice Cooper
  • Playing: The Evil Within
  • Eating: Dinner
First thing first, I want to say that's I am VERY SORRY for keeping you waiting ^^; I've decided to make the final deadline at the end of this month and I AM DEADLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, if I won't do that you are fully in right to rob me of my points :D I'm still waiting for some serious artists, it would be mean to cut them out just like that, so please, be patient D.O : Please No If they won't be finished at the end of the month I swear I won't wait anymore and start without them onion sad I hope nothing like this will happen ever again.....sad daiz 

*Cracks knuckles*
I was just done with playing Skyrim so decided to check DA once again and there's something that is starting to bother a lot Steven experiences a seizure. 
Seriously tho, this isn't funny anymore, am I the only one whose DA account is completely and I mean COMPLETELY broken? Admins are probably taking a revenge on me for talking shit about their site all the time :XD: Well, guess what, I'm still going to bitch. Because I'm Zaly.
The endless scrolling lags after a while because it's too much, plus I can't reach the bottom thus I can't comment, I put some deviantion somewhere by accident and I can't remove it, I can't delete or move my own posts in the traditional way nor can I order my folders. Neat. IS SOMEONE HAVING THESE IDEAS TOO? OR IS IT JUS ME AGAIN? It really bothers me, perhaps I should fix my computer or something cuz' this isn't normal Kermit Disapproves - Emote 

Have you ever played Skyrim btw? I just realized I never asked =P Who is your most prefered race? :D Humanoids, animalistic or wizards? :meow: I personally root for the Royals or however they are called in original, I mean, they are sly businessmen, know magic, get a lot of money AND are attractive, that's like a total ultra sexy combo! :heart:
  • Listening to: Sing me to sleep by Alan Walker
  • Watching: Daddy TOG
  • Playing: Skyrim
You block everyone who writes something negative on your work and then you beg for constructive criticism wtf are you retarded or yes?
Výsledek obrázku pro confused black woman meme

But that's not exactly what I wanted to talk about :D As you can see, either I completely suck at Math already, or my commentmeter got infected by some radioactive cyber squirrels and it broke into complete mess STEVEN UNIVERSE MASTER OF POKER FACE It basically shows less comments than I've recieved and it doesn't even have a logic behind it, I feel like it just chooses a totally random number and that's it, eat what you got Zaly miku (fuck youz) So, I wanted to ask, am I the only one who has these problems? Because if yes, I gotta call some SWAT bumblebee Sherlock Holmes wonderland shit to fix it up, it's not normal,.......:XD:
  • Listening to: After every party I die by IAMX
  • Playing: Dem Batman that erased all my Xbox data shit
  • Drinking: Oranges
First of all: HAPPEH NEW YEAREEEEEEE!!!!!! jerry mouse scream intensifies iconMarkiplier Flawless Reactionscream 

Yes, it's like 1 am right now and I'm writting it now before I will get myself nearly killed by terrible alcohol mixing as is my tradition :D PS: NEVER mix alcohol kids. Especially not with fruit drinks.

I should have to pay you all for the contest now, right? ^^; Well, the thing is that some people, won't name anybody, are not finished with their parts yet and it would be really bratty to start without them, I hope you understand that =P The next deadline thus....I don't want to promise things again, sooo.....the deadline is after they all finish their parts...? ^^; People, please, I'm not scamming you, you will get your points! All 30 of them :XD: Just be patient please, it's holidays after all relax doggoDog- Relax 

Anyways, I would also like to make this a chance for people who forgot or didn't have time and still would like to join! There's still time! Just tell me and I will count you in! No worries, we all have time enough, these 30 points won't run away :P Here are details;
My (NOT) Christmas Wishlist!Eyyy my mortal fellows, hows'a life? I've been inactive for few days, I know, I was even thinking about deactivating my account, but then I was like "You idiot, this is the only inspiration in your sad little life, without it you wouldn't be only an idiot, but also a lazy idiot." So I was like meh :XD:
However, IT'S DECEMBEEEER! big dummy Yeeeey.
Everybody is doing wishlists and such, I am not going to do one however, because wishlists are for selfish morons who thinks they own this site and when you draw a gift for them they are going to bitch about your low art skills, not realizing you did it for free and it took away good junk of your life uhm. Llama-Emoji-12 (Left and Right) [V1] But the point wasn't to say that I hate wishlists and people who make them and that they get so much gifts because their art skills aren't shit neither they are shits themselves unlike me, nonono, the point is that I'm maki

:rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog::rainbowfrog: <----Hope these caught your attention, that's why I'm using them, duh.
  • Listening to: Fireworks
  • Watching: AVGN
  • Drinking: Coke
First thing first, just a reminder for people who accepted my contest: Time is ticking, running out of it in fact, the end of December is the deadline my dearies ;P I love everyone who joined by the way, you guys are extra sexy! :icondragonglomp:
Hello once again my fellow mortals :D Sorry I didn't wish you happy holidays in the form of jornual as it's my tradition here, was busy with all the Christmas stuff, since, yes, we have Christmas today with dinner and giving gifts and such, but I am sure I already told you at some point :P
But I am sure many of you already have your gifts too :D I hope you got exactly what you wished for! :iconbigheartplz: I must say I am happy with this year's results, I recieved a huge various sets of painting and drawing tools, included tutorials and books as well because my parent's are proud of their little piggy that they are breeding and they think I'm some kind of pro or whatever :XD: Also many books because I love books, fun fact, especially when they are inappropriate :iconhurrhurrplz: Like this shit!
Ya know, it's funny, the logic of my parents I mean :D Since first I was like "Daaaad, they legalized 'Mein Kampf', I would like to read it-" :la: 
Father: "NO. It's inappropriate!" :stare:
Then I was like: "Daaaad, there's a new Batman game made, it looks sooo cool an-" :dummy:
Father: NO. It's inappropriate!" :stare:
Some time later: "Daaaad, look at this book about mafia and stuff-"
Father: K. :aww:
When the brilliant mindset is just right When the Deviation/Art/Upload is Just Right (icon) BUUUUUTT speaking of that Baaatmaaan, guess what, I finally got them after some time of waiting I finally got one despite my pap telling me otherwise and yas, you can guess which one, quite obvious really :XD: And I'm not complaining, I wanted the Telltale one very much, judge me if you want I don't care :D I'm pretty sure they bought me it so I will finally shut up :XD: My parents are like that, like when I asked for a handbag for Christmas, my father literally told me "Fuck you." Icon popo 3 HOWEVER, you know how it is when your older gen relatives are buying you games because they want to make you happy =P They thought that the Arkham games are continuations to the Telltale because they know absolute crap about Batman franchiese, so they gave me the Telltale one and two Arkham ones and they were like "We bought you only two sequels, maybe if you will be nice you will get the complete game the next year" and I was like: Adam (HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA) [V2] "Suuure, I will be nice, suuure...." Yaaas, sometimes it's better to not tell your parents the details ;P I have all the five sequels downloaded now, plus two entire new Batman games for free, like, it's like three in one :XD: I'm Baatmaaaan by ZalyHeartlessTigress Look at them, look at my precious babies, I really like friggin own them now Rainbow Hun : Is Hardcore I just had to tell you, it's like a complete steal :lol: All of them on Xbox360 because I'm a human waste space :XD: Because...yes, I actually like Batman, I'm not in-closet-fan, he's like my favourite superhero, not ashamed to admit that, he like....goes around people down.....yah, he, he's great...Batman Approved 

But anyways, enough about me, what I wanted is mainly to wish you very Merry Christmas and happy holidays, along with New Year and if you didn't have one, then, well, hope the next time it will be better :) :hug: Cheers! Glass Of Wine Emoji Wine (2) Icon Wine Icon mini Cheers fella (party) Cheers fella white-wine (party) 
  • Listening to: EDGY METAAAAAL
  • Watching: YOUUUU
  • Playing: BAAATMAAAN
  • Drinking: COOOKE
Eyyy my mortal fellows, hows'a life? I've been inactive for few days, I know, I was even thinking about deactivating my account, but then I was like "You idiot, this is the only inspiration in your sad little life, without it you wouldn't be only an idiot, but also a lazy idiot." So I was like meh :XD:

However, IT'S DECEMBEEEER! big dummy Yeeeey.
Everybody is doing wishlists and such, I am not going to do one however, because wishlists are for selfish morons who thinks they own this site and when you draw a gift for them they are going to bitch about your low art skills, not realizing you did it for free and it took away good junk of your life uhm. Llama-Emoji-12 (Left and Right) [V1] But the point wasn't to say that I hate wishlists and people who make them and that they get so much gifts because their art skills aren't shit neither they are shits themselves unlike me, nonono, the point is that I'm making a Christmas......get ready everybody........COMMISSION!!! :la: I realized I have over 600 points by now and I have absolutely no idea what to do with them ughhh....Llama Emoji-66 (Orly) [V3] Please would be really nice from you.....okaay.... 

The plan is I have got some fresh new characters with my BFFuck :iconscale-fang: and I would love to see your take on it! :D I personally would prefer Dario or Zaly, but if you despise everything that comes out of my head, you can draw "his" characters, he would be thankful for sure! :meow: Or you can draw both! Scarebot and Zal together :iconbigheartplz: Or if you hate him too you can draw something you know I like, except that it must be Christmas or Winter related, since, you know, Christmas commission.....:P

The prices, yes.....Well,....I'm not a girl who judges art, but it's commission, so fuck you :)
Full background both digitally or traditionally: 40 points
Regulary simple digitally or traditionally: 30 points
Sketch: 20 points

I'm a cheap bastard, I know. I'm just that kind of person, I hate spending money, I don't feel comfortable with it, call me Ebenezer Scrooge I don't care. PLUS, it's my actual price for MY OWN commissions, so I think it's pretty fair :XD: I would love to say that my most favourite piece will get +10, thus 50 points, but you know I don't really like that, everybody always does such an amazing job, I can't choose just one :( Perhaps.... I could feature everything, but the best will get +30, the second place +20 and the third +10, but you guys must promise you won't get offended if I won't choose you! Tell me guys down to the comments, if you wouldn't like that idea, if not I won't do it of course.... Jesse Pinkman - Icon 

I mean the points thing, not the commission.....I really would like to do that commission......Even tho I rarely do them.....Because I'm always afraid that no one will join......Kinda like now.......A lot like now actually..... :(
This is not so you can get point rich, just about the atmosphere, it's the season of giving! :iconlaplz: I personally think I did a lot to some of you and now I would just love to recieve something of your wonderful ideas too :iconbigmeowplz:

The deadline: Well,....Since it's a CHRISTMAS thingy, my first idea was 24th December, but that's so little time :hmm: So the end of December, because if people won't join this month, they never will anyways :XD: SO YAS! The New Year theme works too! :la: GIF animation This is my very first commission and such a sweet theme, Winter, Christmas, New Year....:aww:

Note: I WON'T PAY YOU RIGHT AFTER YOU PUBLISH IT! The reason is simple, I would have to look at all your artworks and compare them to one another and then decide what I can classify as 40 points worthy, what 20 points worthy and such, I'm going to be a judgemental bitch simply :) I also thought of giving people 32, 35, 38 points and such, not only "30" so it can be more interesting and fair :iconawwplz: But don't be scared, you sure WILL get your points after the deadine, I would never lie to you, why would I? :O
  • Listening to: Popelka by Xindl X
  • Watching: Nostalgia Critic
  • Eating: Mashed potatoes
I wish to talk about two different movies that I like and you despise here and I would like you to tell me your opinions afterwards :) Pleaseeee guys, I'm serious here, keep reading, I know it's long, but perhaps it will interest youAnother Onion Icon 

First is the movie AMADEUS and before you will say anything, yes, I know, this got 95% on Rotten Tomatoes (I'm using RT as my materials, I'm a swine :XD:) But as my other material I will use the internet God himself, Nostalgia Critic, because as he said, no matter where you will mention this movie, somebody is gonna be like "Buuuut little did you know this movie isn't based on the reality, it's terrible at teaching people about Mozart's life duuuuh." And remember, I live with republicans, if we think it's not what we were expecting, it's automatically a bad movie ;P And I'm overall pointless here because Critic said it before me… Basically, when did the movie say that it's what really happened? That's only what people say, calling it a "documentary" =P HOWEVER, don't take me wrong, the movie has a lot of historical accuracies, I know where are these people come from :D I had a school representation project on Mozart, trust me, I should know :P The problem is that some things are accurate and some are not (Hints: Mozart's story's accurate, Salieri's not), it gets mixed and nobody knows what to make out of it. BUT isn't that the thing? I think it makes a good movie! I mean, yes, most people who aren't into Mozart won't just go and watch the movie on their own, but even I, who watched the movie with the mindset knowing it's not truthful, researched some facts, that's how much it confused me wut (Yes, I actually am cultured and educated, surprise right? :lol:) Anyways, if you haven't watch it yet, sure do! Find it somewhere on the internet, play a pirate and give it a try! :heart: Trust me, you may think it seriously is a document filled with dates and classical music, but it's not! It's a dramatic mustwatch story told by, spoilers, the antagonist of the movie! la in loveAnd you can pretty much blame my love for love/hate relationships on this movie, I mean.... Llama Emoji-10 (Shy) [V1] 
Vstiek 2 by ZalyHeartlessTigress
Now beware, this is where the badness begins! My second candidate is THE GOLDEN COMPASS. (42% on RT) If you're my fan, you may know it as one of my most favourite movies ever. If you're a Hollywood fan, you may know it as one of the worst book adaptations ever, so, yaah, this is going to be kinda biased :XD: No joke tho =P BUTT! Just because it's the most disappointing, does that mean it's the worst? I'm a gal who didn't read the book first and I gotta say as a movie, it can stand on it's own! Very well! And I will get so much hate for this :XD: I mean, yes, the story is friggin' Ice Age compare to its original source, they left many key things unexplained and took many dark scenes down, but you gotta understand people, it's made by Hollywood, they couldn't include all the anti-religion stuff into it... Oh wait, it was the catholics who shot these scenes down, prooving the point of the movie that we are just censored puppets that they control, so nevermind. Jesse Pinkman - Icon And I see you, you're all like "Meeeh, you didn't read the book first so you can't judge, it's clear now, meeh." I'll tell you a secret my darlings, THIS movie wasn't the first thing I ever saw from the Golden Compass franchise! WWE - Shocked/Wow It was the PC game that I had since I was 7 I think, YES, it's an official game made according to the movie, but ironically, it is much closer to the book! I know right! :XD: The plot, extras and gameplay, including the ending, is almost just like from the book, they changed it ony when they needed the cinematics to fit into the story, so, yeah Wink But at that time I didn't know, because I didn't own the book for a comparison, so for me, it was something like Ninja Turtles. Every comic, movie, series they make is different, like it's their own adaptation, no matter if you think it's good or bad, you can never compare it to the original to get the full joy out of it :) Now I know where the movie has its problems and weaknesses, from something complicated and wonderful it became something chliché and by the books......not by the books :XD: And safe of course ;) But, let me put it this way: If the book would never exist, would it be still a terrible movie? If you didn't know the true anti-religious conspiracy dark meaning behind it and would take it only as a sci-fi fun little movie, would it be still the worst thing ever? Does this, made somewhere around 2007, look like the most disappointing movie ever?… Because that's all ever get from you and critics along, you all hate it only because they played it safe it's by the books and thus not by the book book....books Meg wink 

And if you don't agree with me, then, well,..... I think we at least all can say without a doubt that Norm of the North was pretty bad Karma Tongue Icon I recently saw it in Albert dubbed in our language why Czech dubbers why? Pikachu Crying Plz 
  • Listening to: Edgy stuff
  • Reading: Rotten Tomatoes ratings for Norm of the North
It's a scandal, great drama, so I want to know the resolution, you know what :D Who seems to be the winner by now? Hillary or Doney? Who are you going to vote for and why? Or how you see it at least :P I know, you may say that I shouldn't care since I'm not Americano, but hey, as we all know, America has that doctrine that nobody can tell them what to do but they can tells us, sooooo...... I don't want to suggest anything, but the "bad" leader could literally start something like WW3 especially because America hates Russia, if these two will get into conflict, both Americans and Russians will try to get fast new recourses, which means, you guessed it, all other countries around them, so....yeah.... RUN!!!… <--- Birds: Asia, South America, Europe and Australia. + The water: North America. = World after 2016 elections summed up Go Wacky..Onion 
  • Listening to: "Wrecking Ball" Cover by Our Last Night
  • Watching: RUN!!!
First of all, yeah, except for her paw, Diana is okay now, you can't say how glad I'm now :happycry 
HOWEVER! This is an update for people that actually care for me and for what I do here, not for these "Meeeh, going to fav her this and that so I will have a bigger change to do an AT with her whoever she is meeeh..." :P A bit about my internet career Noooooooooo... 
I recently talked to my kangaroo boo :iconscale-fang: and somewhat asked him if I can use his OCs as mine since we are basically doing that stuff together, not that you pervert, and he was like "FAAAJN, do whatever you want, just leave me alone already for fuck's sake!!!!" that basically translates to "Of course my dearest wonderful tigey godess that I love and yearn for." So, for these who are fans of his artwork just a mention that from now I can screw everything he ever did upPsycoHis characters are potentially mine too since I already helped him a lot with designs and stories and such even tho he never asked for it. What that means is that from now I AM ALLOWED to make my own version of his characters, they WON'T be his canon of course, but can use them whenever I want (Except for Zal and Dar since they were never his characters to begin with :p), but he will bother with me and if he will like some of my ideas he will consider them as an official canon bunneh icon1 I AM WRITTING THIS since if you didn't know, he has his work under some special lawcrap because he is willing to make money out of them sometimes and also because I want to feel special. :iconthemoreyouknowplz:
AND ALSO! Already mentioned fabulous suger filled dragon sushi on prozac once thought or something that I care for making my own content so said something like this, I will try to write a perfect reconstruction of what has happened, ehm:
Edward: "Hermosoooo Margaretteeee, take my hand and run away with me, far away from DeviantArt because DA is goodfornothing, we will run to a better website!" Squidward Sexy (Blinking Eyes) 
Me: "WTF are you high or yes, other sites are for professionals, I'm on DA because DA is rotten so I feel somewhat normal there, my drawing skills are at negative 2 000! Ain't doing anything man!" NickYoung Confused Meme 
Kangy: "OOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo-body gives a shit Zaly, I have no time for you on DA and there's like a super-duper-tutti-frutti site called Patreon and and and-" Derpy cat icon 
Me: K. Hoersplz 

But now I think about what he said and most of guys have the same mindset as I do which means DA doesn't mean anything for you anymore and you have different accounts on random sites, so I would like to ask you if you would suggest me something and I would perhaps think about it, maybe after Christmas I could make a change by what you say, you know I love you guys :heart: If you have some amazing account and you would like to see my ugly ass face by your side, feel free to tell me and support me there, since I'm skeptic freak and I won't do any project myself, as I said, without you I would quit everything long time ago Let me hug you! Disclaimer: If you're going to give me a link to some Inkbunny shit, it's not funny. Key thanks.
  • Listening to: Nightmare Revisited
  • Watching: FattyPillow
  • Eating: Chips
I guess you wonder about my situation now more, so I'm here, finally, after the absence! I've noticed that I lost many views due to my short inactivity, I hope I didn't loose any of my watchers, not again.... Big Fool Emoji-07 (Cry) [V2] 

Sooo, yeah, about the whole scandal about Diana, uhm.... Let's say that the life continues on you know, nothing lasts forever... And goody good good that good old Diana will be in the still continuing life for a bit longer along my side! big dummy I guess I forgot she is the cat that already survived the shot in the belly and many eye scratches, she's the Chuck Norris of all cats :D It's funny that it's always her who gets into troubles, since unlike her mom, she's pretty dumb cat, let's be honest here and she doesn't recognize danger very often, did I ever tell you that once my neighbor catched her into a marten trap since she ate the bait? :D
HOWEVER! It wasn't her fault this time! Friggin' dogs scared her so she tried to run away across the road, some women was also driving a car at the same time and I heard that she ran her over for three times. THREE TIMES!!!! Well, my dear, are you a bitch or yes?! Do you despise cats? Did a cat scratch you once on a birthday party and now you want them all dead or what? Bonnie Death Stare It's what I heard at least, wasn't there when that happened, I was searching for her later :stare:
As I said, no internal bleeding, she ran away to the garden in shock and when she got mentally better she herself came home (We have a flat btw if you didn't know, so she went through ALL the stairs there are and that's a lot for a cat with swollen paw!) She survived the night, we took her to the doctor according to the plan, her doctor said she looks good for a cat that got hit by a car, gave her some medicines and vaccines. Now we have to take care of her and still give her periodically syrup :meow: Things still can change of course, but it looks like her recovery is going very well, thank God, thank Budha, thank Satan, thank Odin, thank Allah, thank Ra, thank everyone :iconhartplz: And also thank You my loyal watchers for your care! I'm sure Diana would very appreciate it! Fella Heart Kiss (Love) And you know what that meaaans! :D My old jokey side is back, no worries, no emo depressed Zaly, not yet :P
  • Watching: Letsplays
  • Eating: Chicken with dumplings and cabbage
I am aware that I said I won't post anything personal on DA and I still stand by my word, however, this is about Diana and most people care for her as much as they care for me here. Sooo...

Well, she get hit by a car. Yes. No panicking, she is still alive, barely. The absolutely worst thing is that we can't do anything than watching her slowly dying since it's too late for any doctor to be still at work. We will take her to the veterinary by tomorrow's morning, if she will survive the night of course. Her current health condition? Broken leg and bloody messed up face. No internal bleeding to be seem, thank god. Thus we all believe she will make it through the night, we all pray for her.

I didn't write this to get your pity. I didn't write this to hear your stories about your dead pets and how you feel the same way I do now. It's just to tell you about my emotional state right now. If she will survive, I will inform you of course. You will recognize her death by my inactivity.

That's all, thanks for reading.
Typical female cephalopod black and red blond hell grunts some scrap in her journal yet again! Caddy Wtf High as a kite with a positive chip reflects attacks of earthly DA flatterers of all ages and then bitches about them leaving her and is surprised by it as a mighty pigbeingbeast that we all love very much and yearn for.Jack-WTF? She was once young and she attracted to her colorful wings of fagfanarts many astrohens and some occasional male broilers, but now she has a complex of feeling useless on this rotten pigfarm site because nobody responds to her loveful mating calls anymore in the form of comments or feedbacks.wut And she wisely asks "Why? Why don't so many of my ex-lizardstigerfans give a crap about me anymore?" #HowCouldThisHappenToMe #SadMLGSong #MangyPiggery #Iquit
Is it perhaps that her gallery is now even more cancerous than garden gnomes who like to get right into the news? All she can say to the situation is:


Snmek obrazovky (6) by ZalyHeartlessTigress
#LiekDisIfYouCriEvrytim Sad..Sad..Onion 

Is there some astrotiger that is still my active watcher? My full of desperate fat ears need to hear that ;-; If yes, what kind of variegated byotifull antitalented art of the fifth dimension would you like to see from your beloved furious tigeralienentityhoneylumpkinssugarypiechocolatefuckingcreamcakecorneaunicornorganismorgasm so she can keep at least the rest of you darlings?
  • Listening to: Dude, it's like 2 a.m. here and I listen to metal